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Rocking the boat
Posted: Thursday, July 14, 2011 5:05 PM
Crew confessor,
I need advice. We finished a charter last Saturday and the whole crew hit the town  to celebrate. After polishing off several bottles of wine at dinner, we went clubbing and drank the night away. Sunday morning I woke up in the captain's bed. Now, things are awkward. I know I crossed the line. Can we ever go back to having a professional relationship? Can I salvage the situation or is it time for me to jump ship?

What do I do?
Posted: Thursday, July 14, 2011 5:45 PM
You can try your darndest, but in my opinion, you would have to salvage your self respect before anything else is achievable. The best thing for you to do would be finding work on a boat elsewhere. Sure, this sort of thing happens all the time, but do you really want to be "that girl" who gets treated differently? Boats are boats. If you're a good person, you'll be able to make a new family elsewhere and the crew you're with now won't take it personally.
Posted: Thursday, July 14, 2011 9:03 PM
Do you think the Captain will change jobs because of this? I seriously doubt it. Your not the first female crew member to sleep with the Captain after a few too many drinks. Captains that sleep with crew are not particularly professional and I'm guessing he has done this before, so if anyone should feel embarrassed it should be the Captain. Leaving a good job because of a bad choice is never wise, let time take it's course and if you do need to move on make dam sure your Captain gives you a stella reference, because you can just as easily tell the world what a scum bag he is for taking advantage when he should have been a gentleman.
Posted: Friday, July 15, 2011 5:06 PM
I agree, don't quit. Be the bigger person, tell the Captain, it won't happen again (although if weeks have past you might look silly) and continue you job professionally. The fact you know it was wrong and are concerned enough to make a post asking for advise proves that you are a good crew member. I wound only quit if an unresolveable issue continues.
Posted: Friday, July 15, 2011 5:19 PM
Businesses as usual!
It takes two to tango...if anybody has forget.
In my world, the captain is the one with the most lack of responsibility in this case.

Posted: Friday, July 15, 2011 6:08 PM
Fantastic , well done ,you have found the success of yachting .You will be promoted to CHIEF STEW next month .
Posted: Friday, July 15, 2011 6:17 PM
Instead of pounding the Captain or the crew member,and try finding the "guilty" one,just keep in mind that you are both humans, and the best thing to talk to Captain and draw new lines ,and than try for few weeks in this "new" situation to see how is it going, and what are the "feelings' on both sides.... if that is unbearable,or to embarrassing than move on to other boats or other positions elsewhere, learning your lesson from it it is also an achievement ...
Posted: Friday, July 15, 2011 6:34 PM
wooah .. hold your horses... look at the underpinning facts. one never sleeps with a person that doesn't apeal to them , male or female right? so before numbing your selves at some point you guys must have had a tingle for each other be it physical or mental , you must have thought .. ooh he/shes got a great ass and or pretty face or voice etc... so it might not just have been a bust one out for giggles , ... it could be that you liked each other but your emotions had the better of you after the truth serums you guys copiously consumed. we all know how hard it is with the traveling itinerary to have a relationship , of course im assuming you are both single (God forbid if either one is married ). so im just suggesting that if you do feel that you can have a relationship then start to cultivate it and know when its business or pleasure tones in the conversations at work... which is where you live too... .It is possible to have a decent relationship regardless of how it started as long as you both promptly implement the structure to support your new program within the program. Think carefully before you jump , talk to your **** buddy and see if there is a future in it.if not find out if you can keep it going because i kid you not , its bad advise to the one that says you should draw new lines and pretend it never happened. , when is your next serum feed frenzy ?? why wont you want to hit that which you hit once before? whos to say you will totally ignore that great *ss when you beer goggle come on? .well you want to keep working then make it all work for you and manage the situation to suit both your needs in you bloomers and on deck.
Posted: Friday, July 15, 2011 6:43 PM
Hmm... what do you think these guys are thinking as they look through your CV?  Now I bet that girl can dust?!  They are sailors, don't forget it.  You'd be wise to take it a little further.  The Captain's wife is a rather desirable role.

Posted: Friday, July 15, 2011 7:04 PM
Joined: 15/02/2009
Posts: 13

Dear girl. You did not cross the line ... your Captain did and it is up to his behavior and understanding if you will have a professional relationship again! I hope so! We are all human and sex is part of our nature and needs ... to deal with this in our industry has been one of the major problems all times ... Feelings, if there are, are difficult to ignore and feelings (if I am not wrong or too "old minded") are necessary to have sexual intercourse .... at least some ... Again, he is the Captain and should know better about the "rules" we have on boats .... "no guests, no crew". For the integrity of a ship crew should be like brothers and friends! Some times it is difficult to stay on these unwritten rules. Talk to him! I am sure you are not the only one today having this problem. Good luck and don't give up.
Posted: Friday, July 15, 2011 7:15 PM
Joined: 13/07/2008
Posts: 32

Well it's weird none of you commentators asked the lady if she likes the Captain and none got interested if the Captain likes the lady ? There must have been something as mentioned above between two of you to get to that. We know many boats accommodate relationships on-board nowadays. Why don't look at it from the positive side ? Of course if none of them is married there should not be anything wrong with whatever happened
You'd rather celebrate guys and continue the relationship PROFESSIONALLY !

Posted: Friday, July 15, 2011 7:29 PM
Joined: 02/06/2008
Posts: 342

The original poster never said a word about being female, or the captain being male - or not.

Posted: Friday, July 15, 2011 7:44 PM
Good comment Dreaman, totally agree with you, This is the yachting industry, there are no rules in this game, why Give skips the bussiness, Takes two to tango, have a great time, life is too short for the boo hoos out there, maybe they actually like each other, who cares!!!!Move on, work hard, play hard, good for you girl!!! As for skips just another lucky guy !!!
Posted: Friday, July 15, 2011 8:52 PM
Joined: 12/07/2010
Posts: 57

Excellent point chief , That could really compound the issue.
Posted: Friday, July 15, 2011 10:08 PM
hahaha! oh dear!... i agree with dreamin and whom ever wrote "wooaah hold your horses".very true . Now if they are both males or both female , does this become a different ball game or do the traditional ways still stand?
Posted: Friday, July 15, 2011 10:11 PM
Joined: 16/06/2008
Posts: 5

well well , most are assuming its a girl that wrote the post... what if its a guy that ended in the captains bunk?
Posted: Saturday, July 16, 2011 7:12 AM
Joined: 13/07/2008
Posts: 32

Yachting life has made us so flexible ... why getting' shocked of such details ))
It hasn't said if the author was the Captain himself ... lost his memories of being the Captain though !

Capt Edward P
Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2011 9:55 AM
Joined: 06/01/2011
Posts: 81

It is often said that all ships had a cabin boy for the men to keep them occupied during long passages. So in this case if it were man-on-man this would be nothing new in the nautical scheme of life and seems to confirm what went on in the the book entitled "Rites of Passage" - a riveting good read for those who are on long nights. For those who can remember Captain Pugwash, on British TV, back in the 70s the adage "Roger the cabin boy" has never rung so true. Yours aye, Captain
Posted: Sunday, July 17, 2011 3:53 PM
Problems could have been averted had you slept with the chef
Posted: Monday, July 18, 2011 9:03 PM
Joined: 25/03/2009
Posts: 15

probably a prank posting..1) STCW 95.. 2) hope you didnt catch anything!

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