I’m a department head and need advice on connecting with my crew. I want them to feel as if they can talk to me about anything. How do you do it?
This is a great question, and the answer is perhaps the simplest, yet most difficult thing to do: be authentic. But being authentic and creating that environment where your crew will come to you with anything takes a ton of work.
Each of my crew members and I have our own unique relationship for working and friendship. While some may say it should be strictly a work relationship, I don’t feel that way as we are not a 9-to-5-type career. We do almost everything together so there needs to be a balance between the professional relationship and friendship, and it can be hard. You have to be real, be yourself and be authentic; I strive to do this 100 percent of the time. If you can show that you are not perfect, that will resonate loudly with your junior crew. They will realize you are human, that you make mistakes, you laugh, you cry, you get frustrated and feel every emotion they do and that will speak volumes about your character. Not only will it show that you are comfortable in your own skin, but it will also show that you are approachable.
You also have to be fair and consistent. Crew need to know that everyone is held to the same standard whether you are my chief officer of many years or my boyfriend, and if you can be approachable and consistent even under pressure, that will go many miles with your gang.
One of the most important things I think you can do as a captain or HOD is admit when you are wrong or you messed up. And actively and truly listen. I have to purposefully put my phone down, close the computer and push the calendar aside. When I do that for a junior crew member who has mustered up the courage to talk to me about something tough, it goes a long way.
Check in with your crew. Ask them what you can do to make their job easier. And remember what they have going on in their personal life. That shows you have listened to them. When you combine all of this and truly work at it, you will find that your crew start to come to you with anything. You will see them open up and realize they are in a safe space. There isn’t a greater feeling as a leader.
To send a question to Captain Kelly, message her on Instagram @captain_kellyjgordon